How to Forgive - Meditation and Visualization Technique
By A. Devia
Forgiveness is a topic that comes up often. But people often don't understand what it really means. Forgiving someone is not about telling the person who wronged you that what they did is ok. They wronged you, that's not ok.
Often we physically remove the problem person from our lives, but find that even years later the thought of them and what they did to us continues to haunt us. It effects how we behave toward other people; how we expect others to behave toward us. It changes the way we think and it upsets us just to think about it. What more can we do to heal a hurt after the person hurting us can't hurt us anymore? Forgive.
Forgiveness is the process of releasing your feelings about a person or situation. Forgiveness is not excusing or condoning an act. Forgiveness means to give up, release, let go of.
Forgiveness is a process that involves you and only you and here is one way to do it.
Close your eyes and see yourself. Think of the thing they did to hurt you as a paper bag full of dog-doo that you are holding. See yourself holding the bag as you go about your daily activities. Everywhere you go, "Tra-La-La, I'm going to the grocery store with a bag of crap, Tra-La-Yuck!" You don't want to carry this bag of crap anymore.
Visualize yourself, your bag of crap and the other person. See yourself giving the bag back to the person. Hear yourself say to the person, "You gave me 'x'. I don't want it. It's not mine. I'm giving it back. I am fine."
Here are a few examples:
Someone called you fat. So hand back the bag (in your head! not in real life!) and say (in your head) "You think I'm fat. I like my body just the way it is. That is your opinion. It is not my opinion of myself."
Your ex spent years spending all your money and causing financial problems. Forgive them. "You have financial problems. I have a job. I pay my bills. I am financially stable. That was your problem, not mine and I'm giving it back."
Your ex called you overly emotional, needy, always dismissed your feelings. Forgive them. "You do not value my emotions or think they are real. My emotions are my own. I feel them. It doesn't matter if you like them or not. They are mine. They are real. And it is ok to feel them."
Do not continue to carry around baggage that is not yours. Forgive and move on.